This Christmas

so, my choir sang a song, well an arrangement of silent night and I got really into the Christmas spirit, I wanted to go caroling. It never happened haha. But this Christmas I have found that I have been missing my mom a lot. I just want her here with me. I wish that I could have conversations with her as an adult not just as a kid to a mom. She was an amazing person. Kind and generous and now everyday, I am going to strive to be more like her :) I gotten woken up twice in the middle of the night last night to go save the day but only did once. I got to spend the morning with Nikki and watched her walk around naked or rather in panties and a santa hat. It was very cute!! Took her to work and came over and slept for about an hour with my new love Jerad. I woke him up and we opened presents. I got him a fleece tied blanket, spongebob scrubbies and a shirt with my face on it. He got me headphones and a spiderman wallet!! I was super excited. I got a little sad after because my stupid douche ex Chris got me headphones just like them and I gave him a shirt two years ago. He broke up with me two months after that right before Valentine's Day. I just got sad and nervous. I really really like and possibly love Jerad and I don't want to ever be without him. It took me a minute but I told him what was wrong and he kissed me and told me that he wasn't a douche and wouldn't ever do any of the thing Chris did to me and still does to me to this day. Jerad really is amazing. I don't know how I got so lucky. I don't unerstand why he loves me but he does and he just thinks the world of me. I love him. But today, I am going to my parents, he said he would go with me but then realized that his mom would be alone for Christmas so he isn't sure if he wants to leave her. So we'll see and then tonight, Nikki and I are going to rock out with some alky!!!!! our boyfriends will be there but it is mostly going to be about us...haha :) But so far Christmas sucks but it will get better...lets hope!!!

new

So, I have a new guy in my life. I think that he will be sticking for a little while :) I really like him. His name is Jerad. He is so sweet to me. He makes me feel incredible every day. We just got over the cute phase I think. We are still cute but its getting a little more normal now. I got a new iPod yesterday!! pumped!! I have a kitty named Raven. She is adorable and I love her. I want to take her to my mom's house a lot but she makes me feel good when she is there. I still love and cherish my best friends Keely and Nikki. There has been a new addition to our group, Alex. He is AMAZING!!!! He fits right in and it just works. He loves us too!! So, a lot of stuff is happening. I can't wait to be done with school. Only 2 weeks!! wow, I can't believe it!! Anyway, that's all. :) I'll keep you updated from here on out on how everything works out

list of rules

I made a list of rules in my life. My friends are always telling me to be careful to people and to be careful in what I do because I change my mind so much. Well, I decided to change that. I am sick of being the one who doesn't know what she wants. who can't make a set decision to save her life. I know its not their fault, I truly am that way. I just always think or rather want the grass to be greener on the other side. so here is my list of rules for my life...

1. I believe that heaven is somewhere I can be truly happy with the people that I love and that love me.

2. I believe that anyone can have a connection with another person not depending on whether it is a girl or boy.

3. I am always fighting with myself over religion. Whether I am going to be mormon or not. Well, I have decided that I am not. I don't live it and I am just wasting my time trying. I should be happy and I think God will love me no matter what.

4. I am not going to have sexual relations with anyone until I have been dating them for a couple of months. I get attached too quickly and I am going to put a stop to that. Also, I will not be used for someone else to get off on.

5. I will never leave my friends for a boy ever again. I have hurt others and been hurt so badly before. It is not worth it.

6. I am willing to date a guy that drinks but not one that drinks all the time. One that is not an alcoholic. and I don't really want alcohol around my kids. If I marry a guy that drinks, he can go to the bars or do other means to drink it. I don't want it in my fridge.

7. I want to be a choir teacher. I am going to set that. I will get my degree and then if I change my mind after that. So be it. But I will get my degree.

I can't think of any of the other ones but if I do, I will post them. I am not going to be wishy washy anymore. I know what I want in life now and I am going to do it.

Love, Em :)

babies

so, I was walking on the quad today and I saw like 12 3 year old in halloween costumes walking, or rather running and it was funny to look around and see everyone smiling. What a joy babies and kids are!! They just bring happiness. That is all :)

Birthday :)

So, I had a birthday last week. I can't believe its already been a week. But I had a party with my friends and then went out to the bars. I had a blast. I sang karaoke and rocked out to love shack!! I can't believe I am 21. It is so crazy to me. Oh well, I guess. So lately, I have been all over the place emotionally. I wouldn't say I'm emotionally unstable just not able to control my emotions. I get lonely. But who doesn't really. I have realized that don't like anyone and no one really likes me. I am just not feeling it. But I am not sure if I really want to be in a relationship or anything. I do love my friends and they are there for me no matter what. No matter how crazy I get. I don't know how they do it. I have been sick with no voice lately and it has been a struggle. Also, I hate Glee. It is getting to the point of utter ridiculousness. I want the wife who is pretending to be pregnant to DIE!!!! I hate her with all of my being. But other than that, life is pretty good. I hate how emotional I am. I just hate myself sometimes. I hate Mondays and Wednesdays. I actually hate everyday actually. I am being ridiculous. Oh well, its my blog so I will do what I want. :) but yeah. peace

Britney Spears

So, here I am sitting watching or just got done watching Nikki and Keely dance around to Britney Spears. I am pretty sure it was the most amazing performance of my life. I was going to go to a concert and pay $15. but then my friends started giving me a free concert right here at home. I love free shit. I realized at that moment how much I truly love my friends. They are so incredible. I loved laughing at them. I am so truly blessed to have them in my life. They love me no matter what. I love them too. I would do anything and everything for them.

After watching for a minute or two or rather 3 Britney songs I decided to join. They can't sing Miley Cyrus without me!! It just wouldn't be right. But we are going to go Halloween shopping now, so I will probably write another blog later :) love, Em

friends

I feel so terrible. I was fine until tonight. I get tired and pmsy and I get sad. I wish that I could take back what I did. I am so happy that we are back together and stuff but I ripped her heart out. I moved out on Keely's birthday. I broke my best friend's heart. Its times like these when I want to run away again. I hurt them once, I don't want to do it again. I was so lonely though. I always told them I wasn't good enough for them. That I should leave them, well when I did, it turns out I wasn't happy. They weren't happy. It was a lot better fighting everyday for our friendship than not. I wish I could change it all. I chose a boy over the people who really meant the most to me. I thought I was happy after. I went back to church, met with the missionaries, watched a lot of grey's. They were my best friends for a while. haha I'm a nerd. I wish that I hadn't been such a bad person. I'm sorry

hello

Hello,
my name is Emilee Bunker. I am a Junior at Idaho State University. I am a vocal music education major. I love to do random things and just live and love life. I have the bestestest friends ever. I love them so much. They truly mean the world to me. I am just kind of writing about myself for the first time here because I think that it is fun. I am sure there will be many happy and a lot of sad blogs on here. So, if you follow me, be prepared. That is all :)