This Christmas

so, my choir sang a song, well an arrangement of silent night and I got really into the Christmas spirit, I wanted to go caroling. It never happened haha. But this Christmas I have found that I have been missing my mom a lot. I just want her here with me. I wish that I could have conversations with her as an adult not just as a kid to a mom. She was an amazing person. Kind and generous and now everyday, I am going to strive to be more like her :) I gotten woken up twice in the middle of the night last night to go save the day but only did once. I got to spend the morning with Nikki and watched her walk around naked or rather in panties and a santa hat. It was very cute!! Took her to work and came over and slept for about an hour with my new love Jerad. I woke him up and we opened presents. I got him a fleece tied blanket, spongebob scrubbies and a shirt with my face on it. He got me headphones and a spiderman wallet!! I was super excited. I got a little sad after because my stupid douche ex Chris got me headphones just like them and I gave him a shirt two years ago. He broke up with me two months after that right before Valentine's Day. I just got sad and nervous. I really really like and possibly love Jerad and I don't want to ever be without him. It took me a minute but I told him what was wrong and he kissed me and told me that he wasn't a douche and wouldn't ever do any of the thing Chris did to me and still does to me to this day. Jerad really is amazing. I don't know how I got so lucky. I don't unerstand why he loves me but he does and he just thinks the world of me. I love him. But today, I am going to my parents, he said he would go with me but then realized that his mom would be alone for Christmas so he isn't sure if he wants to leave her. So we'll see and then tonight, Nikki and I are going to rock out with some alky!!!!! our boyfriends will be there but it is mostly going to be about us...haha :) But so far Christmas sucks but it will get better...lets hope!!!